Pandemic and post-pandemic state of mind and body

The pandemic for me started as something that was happening very far away. At the end of December 2019 we started hearing news about a strange new virus in China which was killing people and which started in a wet market in Wuhan. At that time, since it seemed quite far away to impact me, I didn’t grasp the magnitude of the situation. However, soon the virus started infecting people in Italy and things started to go crazy from there. Even then no one would have thought at the time that the crisis would last so long. It has now been six months since the world has been grappling with these issues. One of the biggest impacts of the virus and the resultant lockdown has been on the mental state of people. I have never ever had to stay at home for more than a couple of days at a stretch. Confinement within the four walls of the house had been an option which I had never had to choose.

The 5 stages of grief (popularly referred to as DABDA and also known as the Kubler Ross Grief Cycle) defined by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, include the following:-

Although I was aware of this model, the pandemic helped me see the application of it. My mental state during the pandemic also went through similar stages. I believe there is even a word for it now "Pandemic Stress". Initially I was in a state of denial. This couldn't be happening! I cannot stay away from my friends and extended family for so long! Thoughts about how I was missing out on months of my life irritated me. I was in constant denial. I thought that the pandemic was a short-term crisis and that we would all go back to our normal lives.

Two months into the lockdown, my mental state shifted from a state of denial to a state of anger. How much longer should I stay at home and suffer? Is this virus even worth it? (I was not COVID-read at the time). My 3-member family and I, although very close, have never spent so many days together huddled up indoors without external activities or interaction. I was so used to spending more than 12 hours of the day outside the house, that it was a prison-like situation for me. I used to get very irritated and would lash out at my parents. Little changes like wearing a mask, using hand sanitisers whenever we touched anything from outside, being cooped up at home angered me extensively.

By the third month of the lockdown in India, I was in a bad state, mentally and physically. I had finally entered the bargaining stage. I felt like I had lost all meaning in life. I am an extrovert through and through and I derive my energy from being around people. Not being able to meet people, socialize and interact was a huge struggle for me. I started reaching out to my friends through online means i.e. Zoom, MS Teams, House party and WhatsApp to name a few.

Along with the fourth month of the lockdown, came the fourth stage of grief, Depression. This was the hardest stage for me as I had never experienced this burst of negative emotions and feelings before and I didn’t know how to deal with it. During this time, more than the Coronavirus and the pandemic, the bigger threat to society was depression, anxiety and deteriorating mental health. As I mentioned in my previous article, mental health is mental pressure is far more difficult to deal with, as compared to physical pressure because unlike physical pressure, the latter is intangible. The feeling of hopelessness, hostility and the overall bleak nature of the 'new normal' was overwhelming and mentally tiring. The pandemic was getting closer to me as many near and dear ones started contacting the virus. This added to the feeling of helplessness and grief. I started having little outbursts and longed to go outside the house and feel the fresh air.

Little ghost in white cloth saying, "That's okay beathe"

By the end of the fourth month, I finally started seeing the virus, not as a problem but as an opportunity. I had finally reached the acceptance stage. I accepted the fact that the virus was here and had come to stay. It was heartbreaking to see people around me suffering and I started seeing this as a global issue and not a personal issue. There came a sense of acceptance and adaptability.

We humans are evolving creatures and we learn, adapt and change with time. We learnt how to cope with staying at home, in isolation, away from social interactions. I started using the numerous opportunities in front me. Instead of meeting friends, I adopted technology to stay in touch. I realized that I can be social but from a distance (Coronavirus left us with no choice here, did it?). Connecting with friends through digital mediums like Snapchat, Instagram, WhatsApp, Zoom, Google meet and WhatsApp video calling has now become the new norm. College started and lectures were conducted online. I had just got a new class full of people I didn’t know and with very few people whom I had spoken to face-to-face before. From making new friends, to watching movies together, playing online games and working on group projects, I have done it all. Acceptance was really a good color on me.

Maintaining one's mental health during such crisis is as critical as maintaining one's physical health. I learnt a few things during this pandemic on how to deal with the overwhelming emotions, thoughts and feelings and here are a few things I did to keep myself busy, healthy and happy.

1. Eating healthy – Staying at home meant that outside food (Read: Junk junk junk) was restricted. Thus it became easier to control my diet and eat more of healthy food and avoid stress eating.

2. Cultivating hobbies – Hobbies, (I am into performing arts like classical and non-classical singing as well as Classical dance as mentioned in my previous article), have played a very instrumental role in my life. This pandemic was no different. It is very important for our mental health to cultivate hobbies. My 80 year old dance sir started conducting Bharatanatyam classes online! Not only was this an exciting opportunity for me but also showed me that there is no stop to when one can learn and adapt.

3. Regular yoga and exercise helped me not only maintain my fitness, but also energize my mind. One challenge of the pandemic has been my non stop position in front of the laptop. My college education had become completely virtual and that coupled with various projects meant that most of the time was spent hunched over the keyboard, which soon led to pain in my neck and back which can be avoided with proper posture.

4. Reduce the negativity - Another action I took was limiting the news that I read. More than 90% of the news that we hear today have become completely negative and they play a key role in making us depressed. Initially I used to check the COVID statistics and updates daily which would increase my stress and anxiety levels. Now I limit my readings to a few apps and web sites which help reduce the clutter as well as the negativity.

5. Meditation is one more way to relieve stress, though I must confess that I am not able to allocate enough time for this. However this is something that all of us should do more often.

6. Drinking plenty of water, regularly exercising and getting good sleep are key elements that helped me reduce stress levels.

7. Staying connected – It is important that you stay connected with your family and friends to avoid loneliness and depression.

8. Updating myself – I utilized this time to upgrade my skills. Many free courses are available online during this pandemic which helps build and learn new skills.

One of my biggest learnings from this pandemic has been that humans are adaptive. All this was new to us. However all of us have adapted to it in whatever way possible. I stopped going out to buy groceries and other household items. Intensive use of ecommerce sites like Big Basket, Amazon and Flipkart meant that these were delivered home. Swiggy and Zomato also adapted themselves by tying up with local grocery and vegetable vendors and delivering local items within one hour. The local sandwich wala had to shut down his sandwich stall and reinvented himself by donning the new avatar of a fruit vendor. He sources fruits from across different vendors and delivers them and all you need is to send him a WhatsApp message. The local vegetable vendor also started to accept orders on WhatsApp with home delivery and digital payments.

After the lockdown was lifted, it was quite irritating to see people not following the rules. One could observe people walking around without masks or social distancing. Initially this irritated me. However I have since reconciled myself to this. It is clear that we cannot force someone to behave in a particular way. There will always be COVIDIOTs. All we can do is focus on things that are under our control.

After 6 months of living with this pandemic, I have realized that this is not going way soon. One needs to learn to live with the pandemic at least till either a cure is found or a vaccine is administered to all of us. Some scientists claim that this may never go away but become a seasonal disease like the flu. We should therefore continue to follow good hygiene habits including washing hands regularly especially after touching surfaces which may be contaminated, wearing masks whenever meeting other people or going out, avoiding going out unless really necessary, not touching your face and maintaining social distance when you go out.

I am hopeful that things will improve over time. I look forward to the days when I can meet my family and friends physically rather than virtually.

Stay Healthy, Stay Safe.

A few good resources that can also help with mental stress are given below

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/stress-coping/young-adults.html

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/coronavirus-anxiety.htm

https://www.cumc.columbia.edu/student-health/coping-stress-pandemic-mental-health-guide-cuimc-students